Is Your Life Too Rushed with Kids?

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” ~WILL ROGERS

The above is an obscure but interesting quote I came across recently on the Internet that struck a chord with me and how I interact with my children. Clearly I haven’t reached the point that Mr. Will Rogers’ alludes to where I need to FIND something to do. “Get your shoes, get your coat, put that toy away..no we have to go…what, you need to pee?….hurry!!! We’re going to be late.” I seem to be in a constant rush with my children trying to GET somewhere all the time. School, play date, soccer practice, Gymboree, you name it I’m going there or rather ‘trying’ to get there on time!

I find it odd how prior to the birth of my children I was able to dress myself, put makeup on, brush my teeth, get on the road and always without a doubt arrive at my business appointments on time. Heck I even had time to spare to grab a cup of coffee….imagine that.

That being said, I’m not disturbed at my new found lack of time management but rather my constant pressure on my children to get ready and get going. I have come to the conclusion that less is more sometimes and that maybe, just maybe, missing an appointment or being late once in a while isn’t such a bad thing. How about I let my daughter finish making her watercolor picture of our family, even though she’ll be late for her dance class? Maybe my son would benefit more from playing in his sandbox a little longer than being rushed out the door for his Gymboree class.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not proposing that children’s lives should be filled with missed commitments and late arrivals. Structure and consistency are important foundations of young lives and to teach the ability to plan and control outcomes through action. I do however think that once in a while it is ok to choose a free form activity over a committed one. Not all the time but once in a while to take the stress off children and show then that life is not 100% about appointments and full days of planned activities, but also about just plain fun!

A few things I am going to do to make my life easier and relive stress on my children….
• Start getting ready earlier. Set a reasonable timeframe. If your kids are tired or not feeling well give extra time to get them ready. They will undoubtedly be slower than usual.
• Set expectations early so that the kids know what’s coming. “Sally, toys away in 10 minutes, we need to start getting ready”.
• Put jackets, shoes and snacks together the night before so it’s not a rush the day of.
• Have extra essentials in the car (water, diapers, wipes, clothes, snacks) just in case you forget something.
• Plan less activities – open up some white space.

With these tips and tricks at my disposal, I think I may be able to get a little time for myself and even pick up that long missed cup of coffee once in a while.

Babywearing

Being an older mom with chronic back issues I never once considered babywearing. I judged my baby carrier as a torture device and a mind puzzle all wrapped into a hideous tangle of straps and clips. When I very occasionally opted for the carrier as an alternative to the stroller, I had to start the arduous task of getting myself and the baby into the contraption at least fifteen minutes in advance. Fifteen minutes into our outing I would have a pain in my shoulder shooting up my neck and the start of a headache leaving me in a frenzy to get the thing off as quickly as possible.

So when I spotted a 30 Day Sling and Swaddle Journey on Twitter I was immediately intrigued. These 30 moms are experimenting with babywearing and swaddling and all the while Tweeting about their experiences throughout the month of June. I will point out that these moms are sensibly using baby slings lovingly designed by Hotslings and not the torture device I saddled myself with.

Of course in many cultures baby wearing is a way of life. Babies and toddlers are strapped to their mother to allow her the use of 2 hands to continue working around the house or on the land – no such luxuries as childcare centers for these working mothers. And in these cultures it’s interesting that a crying baby is not considered the norm. While western parents are told to expect several hours of crying a day, baby wearing cultures only expect minutes of crying.

Babywearing is also on the rise in popularity due to attachment parenting advocates. It has a lot of benefits:

• A baby carried in a sling feels more secure nestled against mommy so is likely to be calmer and cry less.
• Baby is in a position to learn more both about the world around him and the person who is wearing him. So if you want your kid to know how to knock up a superb ham salad sarnie wear him while you do it, but remember Baby and stir fry do not mix well, so stick to the cold cuts while babywearing.
• The closeness of Baby to Mom boosts mothering hormone levels which helps you bond with your baby and actually make it less likely for you to suffer with PPD.
• The sling provides an easy and discreet way of breastfeeding.
• And of course babywearing moms-on-the-go have hands free to plough the fields, or more likely to type their latest Tweets.

Check out the progress of the contestants on the 30 Day Sling and Swaddle Journey.